I love black thongs
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
