I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
