so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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