i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
