Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Houston, we have a blender
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
