So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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