ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize