doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize