eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize