Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
