Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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