I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
