Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
