You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
