I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
