laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
