Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
