so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
