Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
