I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
