So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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