every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
