The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
