if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
