Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
