thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The feeling are messing with the penis
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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