i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
