Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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