OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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