I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
