Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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