Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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