i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
