What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
