i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
