It's like God shit irony all over that family
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
