so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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