tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
