My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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