I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
