I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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