ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
