Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
