look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
