Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we made out on top of his cat.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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