We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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