So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A bitchslap is in order.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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