You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
