We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
