he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
