In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
