yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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