i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
sarcasm needs its own font
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
