is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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