I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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