yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize