I smell stomach acid.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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