don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
