Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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