I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
