kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
