Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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