why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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