And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
