Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
