I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize